So I've been trying to get my head around this anew lately and on the round about I've been doin a lot of justifying and explaining and rationalizing and reworking.
Here's what I've come up with:
1. Every family has to do what works for them (this goes without saying but I'm about to make a strong case for my way of thinking)
2. The kids of families who have one mostly at home parent appear to me to be better off: well adjusted, secure, relaxed, comfortable, however you want to say it, they seem like they got the better deal.
3. When I'm a working person it takes up a lot of my creative energy. This is the very same energy that I could be focusing on my family's quality of life.
Examples: making homemade food including bone broth, ferments, and more veggies; growing my own food; sourcing cheap or free clothes, toys and other necessities.
4. When I'm a working person the scheduling of it all makes me stressed out especially when trying to schedule childcare too.
5. When I'm not stressed out the family is better off: we eat better, we relax more, we slow down.
So, isn't that the goal? Stress kills right? So if I live without all the extras but I live with less stress I'm winning right? And my family wins too. Kids don't get shipped here and there, we have the presence of mind to look at each other and take each other in. We laugh a little more. We skip the lunch out and the fancy clothes. But what we gain appears to be health, wealth, and happiness in comparison. Am I right?
Slowing down is the biggest thing I've learned as a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). We SAHM's don't seem to "do" much. But what we accomplish is pretty GREAT (by great I mean large, huge, massive).
I've often wondered what made my siblings and I ok? We grew up in a household of broke parents who fought all the time. There are many more details I won't go into. Suffice to say they are on the negative side.
And yet, we all came out of it relatively ok. None of us is homeless or addicted to substances or in jail.
I attribute this to my mother being at home. Our early life was not rushed around. We lived in the same place for 12 years. We grew like weeds in the earth, warmed by the sun and refreshed by the rain. No one traipsed us from home to daycare to home and back. We had the luxury of time and space.
These are the lessons of motherhood: time and space.